Time
"It's colder, now, than I remember. How long has it been?"
"I don't know, I don't think any of us knows."
"That doesn't seem right. Someone should know. How could we not know?"
"I don't think anyone really cared to remember then. We didn't think it would last this long."
"We were so...foolish, we should have known."
"It seems so obvious, looking back. Hindsight..."
"I miss the sunsets. Looking out the window, watching it set behind the ocean...the way the ocean sparkled under those last rays."
"I just miss the light; It's so dark now."
"My love?"
"Yes?"
"There's no more wood, is there."
"No, that was the last of it."
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
It was easy to fall asleep. Only the ocean still moved outside, everything else had gone. It didn't seem as cold with her in my arms. I kissed her on the head, and closed my eyes.
New Site
Well, I've gotten my very own website, so I'll be moving my stories there. If you want to keep reading check out http://thegreatllama.com.
Also,
Forsaken
I held you once. Once, but never again. I watch my fingers crawl over the keys as I let the words flow out of my memory. The memories, though, are fading. A fog has covered them, and everyday they slip away a little more. Every day, it becomes harder to recall the touch of your skin, or the look in your eyes as you told me how you loved me.
With every fragment that goes missing, a piece of me, and of my hope, disappears as well. The term hopeless has become a bitter one, as it no longer means there is no hope for me, but that I have no more hope. Cold acceptance, however, is not within my grasp.
I can never accept what has transpired between us, and so I distract myself. Though it seems that everything in my pathetic world trys to fail in distracting me. Everything I touch seems to break so that it will not aid me. Only this cold, filthy bottle of Potters offers any escape from the truth in my world.
Then, though, even my blood aspires to break me. Not allowed to forget what transpires when I'm drunk, and even making the getting to being drunk a challenge, it offers no real safety. Safety from myself, and my mind.
Lately... defining me has become a true challenge. I've forgotten what, or who, I am. My memories offer no help, clouding over and becoming lost when I try to focus on them. Deep inside... there is nothing.
I forget, now, why I wrote this, and I forget what I was trying to say. Empty sounds fill my ears, distracting me, the violins of victory, not vengence. Where have I gone to? I must find myself, lest I become lost. 
Letter
Where has the time gone? These years that have gone by, they feel so empty. Have I let my own life pass me by? It all went by so quickly...
I had so much I wanted to do, I had so many thing to say to you. I woke up this morning and found that all the time in which I could have said those things had passed. I found that you, my only love, were gone. What, then, is left for me?
There are many years still left for me. That used to matter, but I feel as though the years which mattered have already come and gone. So, do I resign myself to living out the rest of them dreaming of what could have been?
You can't imagine how many nights I have lain in my bed, thinking of what I could have done differently. Laying there, I would dream of you, and all that could have been. It always hurt so much, the knowledge that it was my own fault that those dreams would never become memories. I think, looking back, that it was the pain in the knowledge which kept me from saying the things I needed to say to you.
I was...too scared of it, once more, being my fault that it didn't work out. In fact, I think it may even have been why I messed up in the first place. I wanted so badly to be perfect for you, for it to work out, that everytime something went wrong I would panic. I would then try and force the perfection in my mind into my life, and it would hurt you.
My darling, I'm writing to you to say I'm sorry. It's a beautiful day, and I don't wish to bother you. I know someone else is holding you, and, I promise, I won't write you again until the sun sets behind your grave.
Rain
The rain fell from the sky, intent on drenching everything below. This suits the way I feel perfectly. Cold rain runs down my face, washing away the tears. I had been weeping for the mistakes of my past before the rain had come. Now it seems that tomorrow everything would be fresh and clean, and tomorrow, for me, would be a new day, my new beginning.
So, I stand in the rain, and let it wash the pain away. When I wake in the morning, I think that, for the first time, I will not hurt. The past, as it washes away, plays through my mind, but this time it is only a reminder of what has been. The rain has cleansed them of the feelings that once accompanied them in my mind.
Already, I feel like a new man. The old me could never have thought back into his memories without the regret, without the guilt. He would always block out the memories, run from them, distract himself from himself, but now I can remember. With this newly found freedom in my thought, I think of my memories of you, and everything that we went through together.
And still the rain comes down on me. It's taking you away from me, but I don't mind. I am a new me, and I don't need you inside my head anymore. It seems funny to me now, how I used to hold onto you, to the memories of you. Everything I did, I would compare to you, stop and wonder if you would approve. I am a new me, and everything I do, I will compare against myself.
Happily, I watch your face melt away, forever erased from my thoughts. Now, I leave the rain, for the night has become cold, and I can feel sleep overtaking me. Inside my home, I notice that it no longer holds within it thoughts of you. I smile at this, and enjoy the new peace I've found within.
Sleep comes again to my mind, reminding me it's there. I leave my clothes to dry, and crawl into my bed. Closing my eyes, I find sleep waiting for me in the darkness, while awakening waits for the dawn of a new day, a new me.
Outside, the rain falls from the sky, cleansing the world of her sorrows, and soaking her in peaceful thoughts of dew-covered mornings. 
Smash Up My Everything
The world crumbled, rocks became dust, oceans became vapor, life became nothing at all. The end came from inside us, an explosion that consumed the world. We held each other's hands as the ground beneath us became nothing. Our final moment together, our final moment ever. I kissed you at the apex of the apocolypse, and then all was nothing.
I woke up, the next morning... confused. Now I still pretend to be something, but I know that - in the end - we are nothing. All this life, all of our society... nothing.
Nothing at all.
Regret
I laid back in my bed, next to her. I put my arm around her, and pulled her body closer to mine. She kissed my cheek and rested her head on my shoulder. She was an angel.
"Are you sure about this?" she asked in a whisper.
I ran my fingers along her side and turned my head to look at her, "How many times are you going to ask that? I told you... I'm sure."
She looked up at me, smiling, "I just don't want you to regret it, I want to be sure you're doing it for the right reasons..."
I smiled back at her, and pulled her into a kiss. She pulled me onto my side, to face her, and we kissed as only lovers can. As we did, I rolled onto my back, pulling her on top of me. She pulled out of the kiss, and sat up. Grinning, she lowered herself, and her eyes rolled back into her head.
In that moment, our souls touched, and danced together while our bodies lost themselves in each other. Time had no meaning to us, now. We were lost in ourselves, in each other. Reality was a vague annoyance, and I was only dimly aware that she had pulled me on top of her, her dancer's legs holding me tight against her. Then my mind lost itself in the ecstasy of love.
Too soon, it was over. I looked down at her, only to find that she had passed out beneath me. I slid off to her side, and glanced at the clock. Half an hour had passed outside those all-too-short moments. Sighing, I layed my head on her chest.
I felt her arm wrap around me, and I glanced up to find her looking back at me. She kissed my forhead and layed back. I scooted up so our heads were level and kissed her cheek in return.
"Not bad for my first time, huh?"
Her head turned lazily to face me, "Yuh huh..."
Grinning, I put my arms around her, and held her until we had to leave.
Slide
Vision slides, peeling away the truth in what I've seen, and making way for the questions. My truth was fractured by a girl, a very ordinary girl. She had been sitting alone at a table near me, and something - I cannot say what, for I do not know - drew my eyes to her. I watched as she stood and walked through the corridor to her car. When she had walked out of sight, I began following her reflection in an opposing window, and before she got to the edge of the window, she disappeared.
I blinked, unable to accept what I had just seen. Positive that I was merely seeing things, I stand and follow her paht out. The area is completely empty of her or anything that could be in hiding.
Maybe, I think to myself, I did not see her at all.
This thought curls in on itself, spiralling around my reality. It wraps itself around and around, and crushes it. My thoughts run together and fall apart, making the questions multiply and the answers become toasters. Toasters? I slide into the darkness.
I kneel, and touch the ground beneath me with the tips of my fingers. They tell me that it is there, unmoving and cold, but my eyes told me that she was real and now I do not know if I can trust my senses. I stand, and walk away. In my mind, I run from the cracks that have formed in my reality.
Sometimes, as with now, reality seems to just slip through my fingers. All I can do to hold onto what's real is turn away from these fractures, and slowly convince myself it never happened. To run from the madness that I know is waiting for me on the other side of acceptance.
In my mind, I'm always running.
Beautiful Night
It's a beautiful night, not the kind I would normally be spending alone. There are a few whisps of clouds scattered across the sky, but only enough to give the air above me life. Behind them is the backdrop of stars, a thousand dots that make up the most beautiful of all light shows. The air around me is comfortably chilled, and a slight breeze keeps it alive. Higher up, the breeze turns into a wind that blows the clouds away from the moon, that it might light up the night with it's radiant shine.
The soft light glistens off the dew covered grass that fill the meadow I lay in. It all feels so perfect, as if the night had set it all up just for me. So, I lay for now, and simply enjoy this moment of peace that has been provided to me. It almost seems like the night is teasing me with what I'm throwing away, offering it's beauty in exchange for my life.
With that thought, the serenity of my night is broken. I reach into my pocket, and pull out a single, miniscule pill. Looking up at the moon while I roll it between my fingers, I thank it for giving me at least these last few moments of calm reflection. Then I let the memories flow through my mind, reliving them one last time. When I can't stand them anymore, I let them go completely, and drop the pill onto my tongue...
I don't feel it go down, but I feel the night open up it's arms. It pulls me close, and holds me tight as it takes me away.
The Destination
The sand drains from between my fingers, back down into the beach from which it came, the beach that stretches out beyond the horizon in front of me. As endless as the ocean it borders, this beach defines the destination that it forms a path to. The walk, though seemingly endless, was more relaxing than anything I've done in a long time. The sand has been soft and cool under my feet, and the moon lit water rolls gently up the sand, always a few feet away from where I walk. So peaceful has it been, that more than once I've considered stopping here, on the coast, and foregoing the rest of my trip.
Of course, I keep walking. The promise of my destination is much too precious to just let it slip away like the sand that slips between my fingers. The thought of it calls to something inside me, in a way that few things ever have. Having let those things slip away, I've sworn not to let this go, too.
As the moon is swallowed by the ocean, I realize it's time for me to make my way up into the trees that grow along the beach, and to then rest for the day...
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